The Biggest Lies We Tell Ourselves as Marketers

Hi Friends!

Writing this newsletter early morning before heading to the Yotpo office in NYC. Tonight is an exciting one—Jess and I are hosting our fifth Empath Club dinner. It’s been really special bringing together top CX and Retention leaders, and I love that every single one has been at an Israeli spot. 🫡

Next up: eTail Palm Springs on Sunday. If you’re going, let me know!!

For this week, I want to talk about something that’s been rattling around in my head for a hot minute now.

We, as marketers, constantly make decisions that we would hate as consumers.

We blast out relentless emails and SMS—then complain when brands spam us.
We assume customers will buy instantly when in reality, most of our purchases take days, weeks, or even months of consideration.

We obsess over immediate conversions while ignoring the fact that most of the things we buy come from brands we’ve seen 10+ times before even thinking about pulling out our credit cards.

It’s a weird paradox. We live as consumers but operate like robots when we’re in marketer mode.

So today, let’s unpack some of the biggest blind spots in marketing and retention—the things brands swear are “best practices” but would drive them insane as actual customers.

Let’s dive in.

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1. We Expect Customers to Buy Immediately—But That’s Not How We Shop

Marketers love instant conversions. Every ad, email, and SMS campaign is optimized for the holy grail: the impulse purchase. But let’s be real—how often do we, as actual human beings, buy something the second we see it?

For most of us, shopping is a process. We spot something. We think about it. We see it again. We tell ourselves, I don’t need that. Then it follows us around the internet for a few weeks until—boom—we finally cave.

Yet, somehow, we expect customers to behave differently. We assume they're not interested if they don’t buy right now. So we hammer them with discount codes and urgency plays as if the only thing standing between them and checkout is a countdown timer.

But the best brands know that marketing isn’t just about conversion—it’s about pacing the conversion. Instead of screaming “BUY NOW” in all caps, they create a path that nudges customers toward a purchase when they’re actually ready.

Matt Bertulli from Lomi nailed it in a recent Marketing Operators podcast:

"Brand marketing is just performance marketing over a longer time horizon."

When he shifted some of Lomi’s ad spend toward storytelling and video content, they saw a long-term lift in conversions. 

Instead of just optimizing for clicks and then running out of “bottom of the funnel” customers, smart brands invest in making sure their brand stays in front of customers long enough to become the obvious choice and continue filling their funnel. 

Sometimes, the best growth strategy isn’t “How do I get them to buy today?”—it’s “How do I make sure they want to buy from me when the timing is right?”

2. We Think Speed = Good CX (Until We Get AI Slop Ourselves)

For years, the playbook has been: faster response times = better customer experience. And on paper, yeah, it kinda makes sense. No one wants to wait four days for a simple question to be answered.

But then AI came along, and suddenly, brands could respond to tickets instantly. And now? We’re drowning in useless, lightning-fast replies that don’t actually answer anything.

You know exactly what I mean. You’ve probably submitted a customer support request, gotten a response within seconds, and thought, “Wow, that was fast!”—only to realize it was generic AI slop that completely missed the point.

It’s frustrating as hell. Yet, brands keep doubling down on speed instead of quality.

At some point, we forgot that customers don’t just want fast answers—they want the right answers. Speed without substance just forces customers to ask again (or, worse, leave).

This is the same reason Discover leaned into US-based reps while other banks outsourced support to endless, frustrating automated menus. It’s why Zappos became legendary for customer service—not because they answered the phone in 2 seconds, but because the person on the other end actually cared and could help.

So, sure—use AI to cut down response times, but if it’s just auto-generating fluff that makes customers rage-quit–congrats, you’ve solved nothing.

For some brands, AI should be handling 20-30% of tickets; for others, maybe 80%, but it depends on the context of the tickets and how helpful AI can be in actually solving them.

3. We Ignore Customers for Months—Until We Want Something From Them

I splurged on a car lease almost three years ago. The service was fine, nothing special. But I didn’t hear a word from them for nearly three years. No check-ins, no engagement, just standard oil change reminders.

Now that my lease is a few months from ending, I’m getting letters, emails, and phone calls. They’re subtle for now, but where this is going is obvious. They’re warming me up before the hard sell.

If they had kept me engaged over the years—sent helpful tips, checked in once in a while, and made me feel like a valued customer, I’d be more likely to stay. Instead, it’s clear they only care now because I’m about to make another big decision.

This happens constantly in ecom. Brands ignore customers for months, then panic when they realize they need them to buy again. But customers don’t just wake up one day and decide to repurchase. They remember the brands that stayed in their world, added value along the way, and didn’t only show up when it was time to swipe their card again.

• Create a relationship before you need something. If the first time you reach out after a purchase is when you’re trying to sell them again, you’ve already lost.

• Stay top of mind without being annoying. A well-timed email with a helpful tip, a restock reminder, or even a relevant piece of content keeps customers engaged without feeling like a sales pitch.

• Make the next purchase feel obvious, not forced. If a customer hears from you consistently in a way that adds value, they won’t need a hard sell when the time comes.

That’s it for this week!

Cheers, 

Eli 💛

P.S. Looking for inspo on your next email/sms campaign?

I know you will love this.